If you'd like to hear our adoption story from Part 1, scroll down to the beginning. Thanks for tuning in to God's story!
In early 2008 I had a phone call with Kuhn Joe. No, our kind lawyer did not call us, I called him. Several times. And finally got through. I was in the early stages of learning that no one would ever actually call me regarding this adoption. If I wanted progress, I would be doing the calling.
"I got your proposal in the mail. Did you get our money? What's the plan? How are you going to help us adopt Deer?"
He went on to provide me with a surprising and painful explanation of the next steps. First, Deer had to be told everything. We had truly hoped to keep our adoptive efforts a secret from her, because we knew it was very possible that our efforts would fail and that we would not ultimately be allowed to adopt her. We wanted to protect her sweet little ten-year-old heart. We wanted everything to move forward and then, one day, when our efforts were a success, we would ask her if she wanted to come home with us. We wanted her to have a say in the end--at her age, we felt like her consent to being adopted was a must. But we didn't want her to be caught up in the legal battle prior to that decision.
Kuhn Joe informed me, "That's not the Thai way. The Im Jai staff already told her about the adoption. She already knows you want to adopt her."
I was crushed. It felt like someone punched me. We knew God had called us to walk blindly by faith and try with all our might to bring her into our family. But we never felt like God had said it was a done deal. We felt the Spirit saying, "Trust Me. Follow Me." But never, "This will be successful."
To know that this child that I loved as my own was now on this faith journey with us was incredibly hard news for my heart to bear. "But Lord," I cried, "She has already lost so much. How can we ask her to possibly lose more?" I felt responsible for dragging her into yet another risky situation where she might yet lose again. It felt very, very heavy.
Now, not only did we have to trust the Lord to handle our hearts and our emotions and our joys and sorrows, we had to trust Him to handle hers--the risks that we caused and the position that we put her in. It was a new level of faith for me.
Kuhn Joe had a second announcement for me that was an equal blow to this one. Believe me, I was a basket case by the time I got off the phone with him. I'll share that one tomorrow.